Monthly Archives: September 2011

Facebook Games – Rebuild, Oink Bunk, Epic Coaster and Mighty Pirates


In a zombie-ridden landscape you have to order around a group of survivors who have decided that no more will they run from the shambling, moaning hoards of zombies sweeping the land, and will instead sit down right where they are and rebuild their future.

You’re presented with a small city with various buildings such as malls, fast food places, farms, churches and assorted other buildings placed in a grid pattern. You have the middle four, and 12 people, who contain one leader, a couple of soldiers, scavengers who are good at bringing back food, builders and some randomers. With your motley bunch the idea is to expand the small stronghold whilst still keeping it well defended, scout the areas around you, encourage survivors to join your camp and kill zombies to reclaim sections. Often your camp will be attacked by zombies, the rise of which is blamed on a tulip-eating cult in The Netherlands, so you need to make sure you’ve got enough people manning the police station roof.

Unfortunately there aren’t little zombies lurching and staggering around outside your walls, which would have been great to see. Even better if you could throw them around Black & White-style, or take a couple of pot shots, but no, all you get is the grid and a file of reports after every day telling you how your associated missions went. There are nice little points such as when a soldier looses an eye, she gains the nickname ‘Cyclops’, but the reports get repetitious and the game itself is pretty slow, so not something you could zip about in on your lunch break. There is an evil graveyard with a portal in it, apparently what the zombies are coming out of, but despite me sending waves of soldiers at it several times, it didn’t seem to do anything, so I presume you take over the whole map and then have a final showdown. It’s alright, but I played for an hour before deciding that this really wasn’t worth more of my time. 


Oink Bunk

A side scroller with music of incredibly annoying proportions, where you control a pig that thunders along eating apples, clicking with the spacebar to make it jump gaps and other obstacles, with the pig running faster the further you get. I think you can hit things with the bolt of lightning above you as well by dragging down with the mouse, but the controls are so poor you might as well plough through whatever obstacle it is that you’re trying to hit. Unfortunately each time you plummet to your doom down an abyss, you have to sit and wait for the game to reload and get faced with some scam adverts, and it’s generally pointless in every respect.


Epic Coaster

Pfft, the same as Oink Bunk but this time you’ve got a rollercoaster carriage instead of a pig, which you have to make jump from one broken piece of track to the next. Epic? Epic failure.


Mighty Pirates

Yargh, you scallywags, what do I see before me? Apparently a ‘paradise that only the mightiest pirates can find’. We need to find some lost treasure and an old sea salt toting the obligatory shoulder parrot can tell me where it is! Unfortunately he is then promptly flattened by a cannon ball. So, we have to find the pieces of treasure map by ourselves or steal them from others in order to find the Lost Isles of Treasure Kingdom.

We’re out in the ocean, and here is our first target, a ship called Black Shark. During the battle, you can either fire your cannon, put out a fire on your ship, or improve the accuracy of your cannon and you and your opponent then take alternative pot shots at one another. You can also increase the size of your crew by inviting your friends to join the game, improve your ship, rename your ship so I proudly christen mine ‘Thundering Badger’, and all sorts of things. Well scrub my decks and shiver my timbers, I sink the Black Shark and get my reward, as well as some points to improve my damage, defence and accuracy.

Next I explore an island to see what’s hidden in the trees, barrels and dead bodies lying around the place and beat up a few more ships. I’ve only just realised that these are other people playing the game, not computer generated ships. Ah, so they’ll all probably shoot me full of holes as soon as I’ve gone. I’ll come back tomorrow and see.

Overall, pretty good fun, but as with Rebuild, this is going to take you a long time, and it also keeps trying to get you to buy extra things with real money! 


This week’s winner is: Mighty Pirates


Facebook Games – Super Drift 3D, The Lance, Word Trouble, Stickshot 2

Super Drift 3D

A car racer where you can choose the difficulty and whether you want to time trial or play arcade. I went with an intermediate car on the arcade to see what was going down. The music is mental, the kind of thing you get on a dance mat, as in super speed electronic bopping. You use the arrow buttons to accelerate, break and turn, and apparently the shift button to drift, however I was banging away on every shift button I’ve got and nothing happened at all. The graphics are very blocky and the control of the car itself it quite pitiful – I just drove full speed at bends and slid round them Burnout-style. At one point a pixelated McDonalds sign flashed past so to end it all I slammed my finger down on the gas and headed for the next brick wall. I bounced off it and the game calmly placed me back on the track… you can never leave…

The Lance

Produced by Armor Games, the start menu starts off with some delicate haunted-sounding music with a couple of monks humming and aahing away. You name your knight (I went with Geoff) and you’re invited to a bi-decadely jousting tournament for a chance to win ‘The Lance’. Now the ye olde merry jester medieval music comes in and we have to charge. I think you click your mouse to speed up the horse, but I click once not realising, I then have to hit the space bar and everything freezes. It then zooms in and you have to choose where to hit the other person. I receive massive body damage. They lose their shield. Clearly I need more practice at this. I go in for another round, the clicking thing doesn’t seem to work this time either, I get a horse contact warning and then get booed off the paddock. Yeah, third match I knock the other one off his horse and get some experience points. I also realise that I’m actually riding what they call a ‘silly donkey’. This is pretty good fun, just a shame the clicking to speed up the horse (or donkey) freezes the game.

Word Trouble

A kind of mash up of Scrabble and Scramble, where you have a large board of letters and you need to click adjacent letters to form as many words as you can. There is a letters requirement for you to move up to the next level, and a time bonus for every word you find, as well as bonus letters placed around the board for extra points. Every letter used disappears, and more fall down from the top of the board. It’s not bad, but is missing the addictiveness of Scramble. You also have to watch adverts.

Stickshot 2

In this detective/shooter game you start off watching a comic segment which give you a bit of information and you find out what your mission is. In a fit of multi-apping I whipped out Shazam on my phone to find out what the piece of classical music was that was playing, but it failed to identify it. Isn’t worth the memory space it takes up half the time. In the first level you’re leaving retirement and coming back to deal with a thug getting too big for his boots. And the game begins. You choose whether to buy explosives, ammo or a new gun and from a rooftop you begin your deadly assault. It’s all comic drawn and the people you have to shoot are little stick men who run about, hide and shoot back. Also you only have a limited number of bullets so you have to be quick, but also accurate. Phoning gives you the location of the people you have to shoot, who show up highlighted in red, and you get money for a job done. If you get hit your health decreases, another incentive to hunt them down fast. It’s a really fun little game, I was very impressed – it’s particularly good fun to try and hit them on the run. By the third level it’s getting pretty difficult as you have to protect somebody moving through the city, where gunmen appear out of nowhere. Very good fun, and very well put together.

Winner of the week: Stickshot 2